Timing is Everything

Now! Now! Now! That was my mentality. I have waited long enough.. Why isn’t the baby here yet?

I would have periods of time where I thought for sure I was going to go into labor. I had Braxton Hicks Contractions, lower back pain, and a lot of pain in general. I will spare the details. One night I lost all feeling in my legs and could not get up to walk. All through the night I laid in the fetal position. The pain was excruciating, but nothing happened.

The fact nothing would happen made me angry, short tempered, and impatient. It also brought up past fears. If all these signs mean something then why hasn’t the baby come yet? Its time. That’s how I saw it. Is God not going to keep his promise? What if He changes His mind? These are the things that would go through my head and would continue to go through my head for weeks at a time. Slowly but surely God was peeling away the onion. I would remind myself of everything God had done for me, but the only thing I wanted or would accept is the baby coming.

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