Experiencing God

Over the past couple months God has been saying to me. Make a choice. Choose. Commit. 

After what’s happened this week I’m choosing to commit what was spoken to me. I will commit despite all the judgement and prosecution it comes with. I will get better with trusting and having faith. I took screenshots of both definitions and used them as my background on my phone. I want to remind myself the actions required to practice those things.

I had been driving to work last week and kept seeing this huge yard sale going on. I was going to stop in but didn’t have cash and didn’t want to withdraw any. I got tipped $20 on Friday at my job so decided to stop by. 

I found this CD there… 

Every question id been having was answered. I’m realizing more and more that what is happening to me is supernatural. 

Henry Blackby talks about when God wants to intervene in your life He will make himself known ✅ He definitely did that and continues to do that. 

I’ve reached this place where everything is starting to make sense. Sermon after sermon has aligned with what’s going on now. The CD was a huge confirmation. 

I feel so blessed to be called to a higher purpose. I am not sure what this will bring when it’s finished but am looking forward to seeing what God is going to do. 

God has a sense of humor 

Today, a friend of mine suggested I listen to this sermon. I couldn’t help but laugh because God has a sense of humor. 

If you listened to the sermon I spoke about in my previous post, then you will understand why I am saying what I’m saying. Steven talks about Hagar as well but in a different way. He speaks about things that have been brought up in within my family. That God is peace and the devil is a mess. Spiritual warfare is not peaceful and any who thinks that hasn’t gone through that so doesn’t know. 

I have been wanting to give up again. I struggle, it’s not easy. Im the person that sermon is for. I need to stop blaming and forgive some people. 
(Favorite parts 4:00, 28:30) 

On the run

Do you remember when I spoke about Arizona? I sorta took off from where I live because I had had it. Enough was enough. Everyone is the same here and I am very different.

I “fled” packed all my things and left. (I’m so ready to do it again) lol I had little money, but God stepped. The funny thing is that I had no relationship with him at the time but I knew He was there. I just knew.

He provided for me the whole time. Although, it ended up I had to come back here. I hated the thought of it and being here I hate it. The feeling hasn’t changed. I don’t belong here.

Not long after I got back is when God spoke to me through Joyce Meyer saying Sarah will bear a child…

refer to my very first blog posts for the whole story…. yesterday I started listening to this sermon by the amazing Sarah Jakes Roberts. The funny thing about it is that it’s almost a parable to my whole experience.

I’ve been praying for a divine intervention and a visible sign of what’s been shown to me. I ask for your prayers as well. 

I understand God is working and His timing is better than anything. I’m yearning for this to be over. I know I can’t give up because God is using this to teach me something. I just want it to be all said and done, for the case to be closed, to move on completely, closure, results, visibility, bear the fruits of my faith labor.

This is my last long stretch. 

There will come a day


It’s not easy trying to understand

How the world can be so cold, stealing the souls of man

Cloudy skies rain down on all your dreams

You wrestle with the fear and doubt

Sometimes it’s hard but you gotta believe
There’s a better place, where our Father waits

And every tear He’ll wipe away

The darkness will be gone, the weak shall be strong

Hold on to your faith
There will come a day, there will come a day

Wars are raging, lives are scattered

Innocence is lost, and hopes are shattered

The old are forgotten, the children are forsaken

In this world we’re living in

Is there anything sacred?
There will come a day, there will come a day

The song will ring out, down those golden streets

The voices of earth with the angels will sing

Every knee will bow, sin will have no trace
In the glory of His amazing grace

Every knee will bow, sin will have no trace

In the glory of His amazing grace

There will come a day, there will come a day
Oooh there will come a day

I know there’s coming a day, coming a day

Truth, Success, results 

I feel like truth is measured by the amount of success and results seen by the eye.

Who can blame anyone who would have an amount of doubt against something because those two things were not produced.

Is it a sin to doubt something that isn’t seen by the eye? Am I human?

Especially given the amount of time to wait for the success and results. Doubt is inevitable.

If someone were in my position, I would not blame them for giving up. I would not blame them for feeling deprived and depressed and hopeless.

Especially knowing this person gave their all in believing in something that was unseen. The amount of courage it takes to believe in something that comes with a lot of adversity is a burden to bear.

How long can a person continue carrying on with such a burden? 

Sign after sign after sign after sign after sign after sign after sign after sign all unseen by the people outside of the tribulation personally experienced by the one going through it.

But did they not amount to anything?

What’s expected now? 

We meet at a crossroads. Now or never. I will not be shamed of my decision given what I have gone through despite the lack of understanding and persecution I will hear from others on both ends of the decision, whether continuing to believe or give up, it’s one I have to make.

Last night

I went bike riding with a friend for a good hour and a half. I probably went around 10 miles. It was nice, felt good. I haven’t went biking with someone like that in a long time. Everyone has grown up and been scattered. I feel like working out causes baby to move… 

Fast forward like 4 hours.. 

In the middle of my sleep I was awoken by a VERY sharp pain first in my lower back. Then it immediately went to my ribs on the left side. It hurt so bad. It went on what felt like an hour. It hurt so bad I tried to toss and turn to get it to stop. I ended up in a fetal position. It was EXCRUCIATING. Then it went away and I fell asleep. Lol. But let me tell you… 

Thank God because these are the little confirmations that keep me going.

My current prayer is God please give me a visible sign of my pregnancy so I can share it with everyone. Basically not just for my faith but for everyone’s faith, not necessarily in my pregnancy, but in what God can do. 

This past week was a bit of a challenge because of some people being discouraging. Bad vibes. I got upset about it because of how people have treated me. I was on the phone with a friend venting and started naming things God has done that is not normal lmao like…

Having a burning bush talk

Three men being untouched by the furnace 

Daniel not be eaten by the lions 

Jonas being swallowed by a whale

The entire population of the earth being wiped out except Noah and his family with animals. 

Mary becoming pregnant as a virgin

Elizabeth getting pregnant in her old age

David killing Goliath 

Parting the Red Sea…

… I mean the list goes on… 

why can’t this happen to me? ❤️

Gestation Periods 

Came across Protracted Pregnancy,
Protracted Pregnancy or protracted gestation is a factor in Cryptic Pregnancies.

People dismiss any statements claiming this is true without indepth research. According to numerous medical research and journals, a pregnancy going on 40 weeks is solely an average gestation.

In these sources below it states there has been reports of Pregnancies going on for 14, 16, and 18 months.

I ordered the book to dive deeper into the phenomenona. 

The article below is written by Willy Jansen from the University of Nijmegen. The University of Nijmegen strongly focuses on research. The article below talks about a theory on sleeping in the womb. The theory is in reference to having a protracted pregnancy.

Will continue to update with this new information.

One thing I have learned is the United States is not nearly as accepting to out of the norm situations. Majority of the research is from out of the country.

Here is a video preview of a documentary on the Business of Being Born:


Hey!! I’m sorta back. 

I fasted 3 weeks off social media. God spoke to me quite a bit. I am deciding to hold back from giving little updates about what God has said or done and am going to wait until God makes a big move or a big promise comes to pass. 

I am very grateful for God and EVERYTHING He has done whether it’s big or small.

I’m grateful for everyone who is following my story. Thank you 🕊

I’m standing firm on the promise and in the meantime just waiting, trusting, and having faith. ❤️